Dark cave

I be in my head about alot of shit , and when the time comes I don't deal with it , I allow my mind to take me to a place where its dark and cold , where I cant feel anything , sometimes it seems like the cold nights never end , and I feel myself dying out here every night and I stay in this place. I wish I could cry but I hold it in and I hold myself accountable for how I feel ,don't tell me I'm understandable , if you wont dare stand in my shoes on an occasion , tell me to wait when the time comes cause you don't have the patience, and I be waiting for other people to get me out of this cave I made but I'm tired of waiting so I started paving , paving a way till I find a way out , hope my mind doesn't trap me back in my doubts.